Honesty
Rangatahi appreciate honesty even if it’s hard to hear. They have often been let down by adults and services, so being honest about what is happening, limitations and why decisions are made is how we show we are a different type of adult.
Having a truthful relationship with rangatahi is being able to have courageous conversations with them.
We are honest about what we can do and also about our limitations. We keep rangatahi informed about their case and about key decisions that are going to be made. We are honest about how much influence rangatahi can have on decisions.
Thanks to the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment for funding the research that created these resources (MAUX2006).
This work by J. Sanders, R. Munford, J. Webster, J. Mercier, D. Abbott & L. Liebenberg is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0
Being honest involves:
- Being clear with rangatahi about what we can and can’t do,
- Informing rangatahi about what is happening, when they can and can’t have a say in decisions,
- Being clear about boundaries, making sure rangatahi know where to get support after hours,
- Giving clear information and facts, outlining consequences of actions so rangatahi can make informed decisions,
- Being willing to have difficult conversations that are respectful and resolve issues without conflict,
- Staying in the relationship if there is conflict,
- Critically reflecting on practice, understanding our own limitations and when we need to develop our knowledge and skills, including cultural humility.
To explore this element in more depth, go to the PARTH in practice reflection sheet
"Honesty" orientated rangatahi voices
Ashley's voice
Ashley recalls a kaimahi who saw the best in her.
Lusi's voice
Lusi recalls positive experiences with her social worker.
Harper's story is about validation and being honest about concerns.
A rangatahi contacted me to say that they had got a new full-time job in the South Island on a farm and that it started the following week. I have known this rangatahi for a couple of years, and he had not ever shown an interest in farming or even a particularly 'outdoorsy' lifestyle.
I asked him: Did he know where he would be living? What the living situation would look like? What would he be doing on the farm? What would he need to take down with him? The answer to all my questions was ‘no’. I had to be honest, that although I was happy that he had secured a job, I was also a bit worried that he didn’t really know what he was getting himself into.
I suggested he ask his employer some more questions and really think about the reality of living away from home and the role he was signing up for.
He did go away and follow up those questions and decided to still take the job and was grateful for having asked questions of the employer and getting more clarity.
A few weeks later he contacted me expressing how difficult it was and how he was struggling with not picking things up immediately.
I reminded him that he’d never set foot on a farm before, and to not expect to be great at everything all the time since he had no experience in that sector.
He was thankful for the validation and advice and has stuck with it and maintained this job for several months now.
Kahu's story touches on balancing ethical responsibilities with sustaining relationships during difficult times.
In our agency, when kaimahi share a concern with their manager about safety of rangatahi, the manager contacts Oranga Tamariki.
This means that the rangatahi can be mad at their kaimahi knowing the information the manager acted on came from them, but they may be slightly less mad and therefore not potentially refusing/losing a support person at a critical time.
This example balances our ethical responsibilities to report issues of concern alongside our need to sustain the relationship through these difficult times. We can show our commitment to the safety of rangatahi at the same time as we show we are still committed to keeping the relationship going.
Honesty indicators
You know you are being honest when you:
- Build your comfort to say difficult things and stick with rangatahi when it is difficult.
- Are honest about what you can and can’t do. Know your limitations and refer on, for example, if the rangatahi wants to try medication for mental health issues.
- Are realistic without trampling on dreams.
- Introduce expectations as the rapport is being built. It is important rangatahi know we have some work to do but the rapport is the foundation.
- Hold boundaries when you need to.
- Ask for help when you’re stuck and get support from your colleagues.
- Talk with rangatahi about the consequences of actions so they can make informed choices.
Honesty reflection cards
Starter resources
