Perseverance

Persistent kaimahi know that rangatahi have been let down. This means they need to be a different kind of adult.

Rangatahi need to rely on kaimahi to stick with them and do what they say they will do even when things are very challenging.

 

Thanks to the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment for funding the research that created these resources (MAUX2006).

This work by J. Sanders, R. Munford, J. Webster, J. Mercier, D. Abbott & L. Liebenberg is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0

Kaimahi who persevere:

  • Stay in the relationship and keep trying,
  • Know that positive, trusting relationships take time,
  • Accept rangatahi make mistakes and have setbacks,
  • Recognise rangatahi have been let down and may test the relationship,
  • Keep trying new things until they find what works.

To explore this element in more depth go to the PARTH in practice reflection sheet.

"Perseverance" orientated rangatahi voices

Lusi's voice

Lusi recalls positive experiences with her social worker.

All Perseverance voices

Heeni's story shares the importance of proactive engagement with rangatahi.

Kaimahi stories have come from the youthsay partners. Te Aroha Noa Community Services, INNOV8, Dingwall Launch Programme, VIBE, Tuilaepa Youth Mentoring Services (TYMS), Reconnect Family Services, Kapiti Youth Support (KYS) and other kaimahi shared these stories from their mahi. They have been anonymised to protect identities. A big thank you to the organisations and kaimahi who have generously shared their wisdom and experience.

It can be during that time when they are ignoring you that they do in fact need support, but they are not reaching out for it.

If we know their backgrounds and we know their ebbs and flows, we know that when some of our rangatahi go quiet, that’s when they need you the most but they are just not reaching out. Or they may be at a low point in their lives, and they are physically incapable of reaching out.
So, you’re constantly wanting to keep in touch, wanting to engage, keep those lines of communication open. Then at some point in the relationship they come back and they will often thank you for just being there.

A rangatahi shared ‘I know that I go quiet at times I find it hard to reach out when I need you but thank you for being there, thank you for trying’.

Read more

Katarina shares her motivation for persevering and staying the distance with rangatahi.

Kaimahi stories have come from the youthsay partners. Te Aroha Noa Community Services, INNOV8, Dingwall Launch Programme, VIBE, Tuilaepa Youth Mentoring Services (TYMS), Reconnect Family Services, Kapiti Youth Support (KYS) and other kaimahi shared these stories from their mahi. They have been anonymised to protect identities. A big thank you to the organisations and kaimahi who have generously shared their wisdom and experience.

The first six months was basically like holding onto the tail of a tiger. I had read the case notes and talked to some of the professionals who had been involved in Jeremy’s life. By the time I became involved, he was 14, angry and very self- reliant.

It seemed to me that we would get nowhere until I could prove to him that I would stay the distance. I needed to show that I would take everything he threw at me, and just keep calmly coming back to him to start again.

If someone didn’t get alongside him, I was afraid that he was going to end up killing someone. Everyone had let this boy down, from his earliest days, the adults around him, whether they were whānau (family), workers, whoever.

Basically he had not been anyone’s priority and his behaviour reflected that sense of huge isolation and aloneness, of being passed from pillar to post, with no-one being consistently there for him.

The professionals were very focused on his behaviour and trying to control that, but I thought, if I could provide some stability then the behaviour would subside, because he wouldn’t need it anymore.

So, my task as I saw it was to persevere, show him he was very important to me, and also to reflect back to him the positive aspects of who he was, that I could see, so that he could start to build a new, positive story about himself.

I just kept reminding myself that if I had been in Jeremy’s shoes, I might have reacted in the same ways as he did.

Read more

Perseverance indicators

You know you are showing perseverance when you:

  • Are consistent and do what you say you will do. Turn up every day and are on time.
  • Stay with a rangatahi when they are having difficult feelings and be emotionally present as well as physically present.  Keep going back to rangatahi and the relationship with them.
  • Re-engage and find new activities and opportunities and choices even within the same session. For example, if they don’t want to bounce the ball, throw the ball, if they don’t want to throw the ball kick the ball.
  • Show up every day with a good attitude. Keep going even when rangatahi don’t engage.
  • Don’t carry bad feelings/energy to the next day.  Reinforce positive behaviours.
  • Have a thick skin and don’t let negative attitudes rub off on you.
  • Persevere with stakeholders too. Keep telling others what is needed. Follow up with them and advocate.
  • Don’t take no for an answer in a friendly way.

Perseverance reflection cards

This work by J. Sanders, R. Munford, J. Webster, J. Mercier, D. Abbott & L. Liebenberg is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0. 
This site was created as part of a research programme (MAUX2006) funded by MBIE. We thank them for their support.

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