Attachment theory comes from western thinking and explains that personality and the way that rangatahi form relationships are shaped by their early experiences within their whānau (Westen, 1998). It shows us that rangatahi learn who they are from these first relationships. Secure, stable, and predictable caregiving fosters healthy development (Ruch, 2018, 41). Of course, there are other world views that also focus on the central importance of these early caregiving relationships. In te ao Māori, relationships are central and those within whānau are of special significance for healthy development (see Māori centred approaches).
Attachment theory explains that caregiving relationships provide the framework for developing healthy emotional responses throughout life. Without them, it is difficult to function positively as an adult (Ruch, 2018, 41). If these relationships are secure and safe, they build strong and positive feelings and thoughts. When rangatahi have not been safe while growing up, their thoughts and feelings become confused, and this continues unless mahi is done to understand the causes of these feelings.
Along with the need for stable and secure care, pēpi also need caregivers to respond to them by doing things like picking them up and comforting them when they cry. When this does not happen, anxiety is experienced. When it does happen tamariki learn they can trust the adults around them to care for them and be there when needed. They are then able to move out of the close whānau circle and confidently explore their world, building relationships with others as they do so. Knowing that caregivers can be trusted and relied on creates a secure attachment. Secure attachments help to build an optimistic way of seeing the world and a positive sense of our own place. When caregiving is not safe or responsive, insecure attachments form. Insecure attachment creates mistrust and uncertainty of our place or value in the world.
The way that crises and tensions are resolved for pēpi influences how they respond to anxiety and threats as adults. So, the earliest experiences pēpi have provide the mental map of their social world. This mental map then shapes all future interactions and understandings (Howe, 1995).
Four main types of tamariki responses
This image, adapted from verywellmind illustrates the four main types of responses tamariki make when they have insecure attachments.
The cycle of distress
The graphic below shows the cycle of distress that happens when the needs of pēpi and tamariki are not met. This cycle continues unless adults change the ways they respond to their needs. (Adapted from westfield academy).
Why is this useful for RBP and our work with rangatahi?
Because relationships play a critical role in our sense of who we are and the ways we function, they are a useful place to go to when trying to support rangatahi to grow and develop. Relationships can be the cause of the challenges rangatahi face, but they are also the place we need to look to support change (Howe, 1998, 50).
When kaimahi are using RBP, a key task is to recognise the way that things happening today for rangatahi may trigger earlier experiences of not having their needs met in the past. This can be seen when rangatahi respond in ways we are not expecting, for example by reacting dramatically and/or avoiding situations (Ruch, 2018b, 39). For vulnerable rangatahi, there will be many experiences that trigger these unconscious responses. These experiences take them back to their earliest fears that their needs will not be met, or that they are unsafe. Our mahi here requires sensitivity and support. We need to learn about the reasons for their responses. We can also demonstrate by our actions that we will stay with the rangatahi through the challenging times and support them to learn new ways to cope with anxiety and uncertainty.
Attachment is relevant to kaimahi as well.
We also have triggers from our past experiences that impact on us while we are working with rangatahi. Our responses to things rangatahi do and say may surprise us at times, and in reflecting on it we may realise that this is because it triggers past experiences. Thus careful, thoughtful, and critical reflection is needed so we recognise the deeper sources of our responses (see Critical reflection). This helps avoid reactive practice that dismisses the distressing and overpowering emotions that have been triggered by past experiences (Ruch, 2018, 39).
How do I use these ideas in my mahi?
Mekela was a client in our care and protection residential programme. She was 16 at the time she came to the service; she had been in foster care since the age of 6 and had sporadic contact with her family. I met with Mekela regularly during her time with us. I took small steps in establishing a trusting relationship with Mekela.
As she became more comfortable with me, she talked about her time in foster care. She said she ran away from foster care placements and over time she told me of her reasons for this. She said she found it hard to believe that she could trust her foster parents and that they would care for her. She said they would most probably get sick of her and use her behaviour as an excuse to ask her to leave. Her mum had substance abuse issues and couldn’t care for Mekela; contact was irregular, and Mekela was unable to establish a strong relationship with her mum. She had little contact with her dad who had split from her mum and had a new family. This experience shaped Mekela’s engagement with adults; she had been let down by many adults.
In reflecting on this with my supervisor we talked about Mekala’s running as a defence mechanism that she used so she would not get too close to people. This was how she managed her fear that she would once again be let down. She took control of relationships and ran before they asked her to leave. My learning around this was taking the time to understand that Mekela experienced disrupted attachment with adults who were meant to care for her.
We wanted to support Mekela to find adults who she could form a secure and safe connection with and experience a sense of belonging. However, it was crucial that we helped Mekela find key adults who could become an enduring support for her and could support her in her transition out of the residential service. To do this we worked closely with the workers at the transition agency who began establishing a relationship with Mekela. We also worked with a mentoring programme to find an appropriate mentor who would participate in social, recreation and cultural activities with Mekela and go with Mekela to do some of the things she loved to do like swimming.
Working with Mekela, we took slow and careful steps to put all of these things in place, letting Mekela lead the decision making. Where necessary, we kept her informed of progress. It was important that time was taken to set up these new and important relationships and that the adults involved understood Mekela’s history and did not make promises they could not keep.
In my conversations with Mekela I talked to her about her feelings and how I knew this process of change may be scary and uncertain. I told her that I understood how it might be difficult to trust people and believe that they would keep their promises. I said that we would be there to support her when things became overwhelming and she wanted to slow down things and take time to deal with her feelings.
One of the strengths of this process was the way the kaimahi worked together to support Mekela; collaboration was key to the success of this process for Mekela. We all needed to work together to provide practical and emotional support to Mekela so she could begin to believe that she could have a positive future.
Here are some places to look for more information
- The IRISS website has lots of downloadable resources: https://www.iriss.org.uk
- Bion, Wilfred R. (1962). Learning from Experience. Rowman and Littlefield Publishers, Maryland, USA.
- Forslund T., Granqvist P. (2016). Psychodynamic Foundations. In V. Weekes-Shackelford, & T. Shackelford, (Eds). Encyclopedia of Evolutionary Psychological Science. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-16999-6_1972-1
- Howe, D. (1995). Adoption and attachment. Adoption and Fostering, 19, 4, 7-15. https://doi.org/ 10.1177/030857599501900403
- Howe, D. (1998). Relationship-based thinking and practice in social work. Journal of Social Work Practice, 12, 1, 45-56. https://doi.org/10.1080/02650539808415131
- Ruch, G. (2018b). Theoretical frameworks informing relationship-based practice. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp 19-35). Jessica Kingsley, London.
- Westen, D. (1998). The scientific legacy of Sigmund Freud: Toward a psycho-dynamically informed psychological science. Psychological Bulletin, 124, 3, 333–371. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.124.3.333
We thank the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment for funding the research that created this resource (MAUX2006).
This resource was developed by Professor Jackie Sanders. It was refined with input from Donna MacNicol, Te Aroha Noa Community Services, Justina Webster, Dr Linda Liebenberg, Professor Robyn Munford, Dr Jayne Mercier, Davinia Abbott and the team at Dingwall Trust Launch Programme
Citation: Sanders, J. with MacNicol, D., Webster, J., Munford, R. Liebenberg, L., Mercier, J., Abbott, D. and the Dingwall Trust Launch Team (2023). Attachment. Relational Resources for Change, https://youthsay.co.nz/rbp-theories/attachment/
CC BY-NC-ND Licensed using Creative Commons Licensing. Relational Resources for Change Project. You are welcome to use this resource individually, in your teams and in supervision/coaching/critical reflection, you should acknowledge the source using the above citation. You may not change this document, use it to develop your own external training, or for commercial purposes (e.g by charging a fee).
