Rangatahi have often been let down by the people in their lives. In our research, they told us that kaimahi could not always be trusted to keep their word, and to keep focused on the needs of rangatahi (Munford & Sanders, 2019). Rangatahi told of times when kaimahi would seem to back other people when they had promised they would back the rangatahi. Rather than being honest about their limitations, they ignored rangatahi questions about what was possible or what was about to happen. This included important actions such as not delivering on promised care placements. These experiences made rangatahi wary of kaimahi. Consequently, they often approached them wondering if this one would let them down too. So, we have to work hard to prove we are a different sort of person, someone who won’t let them down. It can take some time to build trust, and build a lot of small steps that rangatahi can take towards trusting us.
The mahi will not work if rangatahi do not trust us (see PARTH in practice reflection sheet - Trust). This is why trust is a key part of the PARTH framework.
By combining these factors, we can work to create a sense of ease in the relationship (Edvadrson, et al., 2005). There are some key things we can do to create a sense of ease:
When we establish trust with rangatahi we work in partnership with them to meet their needs and to support them in change. We can also model what this looks like for other kaimahi, so they too are able to form trusting relationships with rangatahi (see The helping alliance).
How do I use these ideas in my mahi?
Aziz had been bullied at school and felt like he had never really fitted in. He did everything he could to avoid attending school and spent lots of time in his bedroom gaming and contacting other gamers online. This was his happy place. School teachers and the school counsellor were concerned that Aziz was falling behind at school and was missing out on important opportunities, such as an IT technology programme which they thought he would be interested in because of his interest in gaming and programming. However, because of the bullying, Aziz experienced social anxiety and he found it easier to live in his world of computers and make connections online. I knew as I began working with Aziz that building trust with him was going to be an important first step if I was to encourage him to try new activities at school and also extracurricular activities. To begin this process, I asked where he wanted to meet – we started meeting at his house. As he got more comfortable with me, I suggested we meet for coffee and combine that with a visit to a gaming store. This worked.
Aziz enjoyed talking to me about the games, gaming, and programming when we were in the store; I learned a lot from him. After a while I felt that Aziz trusted me to take small steps and support him in new activities, so I suggested that he join a gaming group which he physically had to attend. He agreed and we set this up. I also ensured that he got support from the leader of the group. The confidence Aziz gained in attending this group and meeting others who had similar experiences, helped him gain the confidence to attend school more regularly. He joined the extracurricular IT group with the support of a teacher. I was careful to line up key people for support as I wanted to ensure that the things I promised and planned with Aziz actually happened. It was important that Aziz continued to trust me and know that he would be supported to try new activities. Given his interest in online activities I also encouraged him to enrol in an online programme that helped rangatahi manage social anxiety.
Aziz enjoyed going through the key steps of the programme. In our meetings we talked about how he could use these new skills when he was feeling anxious in social situations and at school. We reflected together on the decisions he had made, the activities he now participated in, and how much he had achieved. With this in mind we started to explore other goals and the things that he might want to do in the future now that he had participated in new experiences.
What I learned from my time with Aziz was that building trust may take time; we need to give the relationship this time. Once trust is established, we can support the rangatahi to believe that they can manage their challenges, participate in new activities and start to think about what goals they have for now and for the future.
Here are some places to look for more information
- Beresford, P., Croft, S. & Adshead, L. (2008). We don’t see her as a social worker: A service user case study of the importance of the social worker’s relationship and humanity. British Journal of Social Work, 38, 1388-1407. http://www.jstor.org/stable/23724349
- Bell, M. (2002). Promoting children’s rights through the use of relationship. Child and Family Social Work, 7, 1-11. https://doi.org/10.1046/j.1365-2206.2002.00225.x
- Cossar, J., Brandon, M., Bailey, S., Belderson, P. & Biggart, L. (2013). ‘It takes a lot to build trust’. Recognition and telling: Developing earlier routes to help for children and young people. A report for the Office of the Children’s Commissioner for England. University of East Anglia, Centre for research on children and families. Norwich, England. https://www.childrenscommissioner.gov.uk/report/it-takes-a-lot-to-build-trust/
- de Boer, C. & Coady, N. (2007). Good helping relationships in child welfare: Learning from stories of success. Child and Family Social Work, 12, 32-42. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2206.2006.00438.x
- Duncan, B., Miller, S. & Sparks, J. (2007). Common factors and the uncommon heroism of youth. Psychotherapy in Australia, 13, 34-43. https://search.informit.org/doi/10.3316/informit.545300571675378
- Hubble, A., Duncan, B. & Miller, S. (Eds) (1999). The heart and soul of change: What works in therapy. American Psychological Association, USA. https://doi.org/10.1037/11132-000
- Kohli, R. & Dutton, J. (2018). Brief encounters. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp 77-93). Jessica Kingsley, London.
- Munford, R. & Sanders, J. (2019). The youth transitions study: Final report. Technical Report 39. Massey University, New Zealand.
- Parkinson, C. (2018). Sustaining relationships: Working with strong feelings. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp 113-128). Jessica Kingsley, London.
- Sapiro, B., & Ward, A. (2020). Marginalized youth, mental health and connection with others: A review of the literature. Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal, 37,4, 343–357. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1007/s10560-019-00628-5
- Turney, D. (2012). A relationship-based approach to engaging involuntary clients: The contribution of recognition theory. Child and Family Social Work, 17, 149-159. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2206.2012.00830.x
- Walsh, J. (2018). Being alongside: Working with complexity and ambiguity in caring r relationships. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice(2nd Ed). (pp 203-220). Jessica Kingsley, London.
- Winter, K. (2009). Relationships matter: The problems and prospects for social workers’ relationships with young children in care. Child and Family Social Work, 14, 450-460. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2206.2009.00628.x
We thank the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment for funding the research that created this resource (MAUX2006).
This resource was developed by Professor Jackie Sanders. It was refined with input from Donna MacNicol, Te Aroha Noa Community Services, Justina Webster, Dr Linda Liebenberg, Professor Robyn Munford, Dr Jayne Mercier, Davinia Abbott and the team at Dingwall Trust Launch Programme
Citation: Sanders, J. with MacNicol, D., Webster, J., Munford, R. Liebenberg, L., Mercier, J., Abbott, D. and the Dingwall Trust Launch Team (2023). Building trust. Relational Resources for Change, https://youthsay.co.nz/rbp-theories/building-trust/
CC BY-NC-ND Licensed using Creative Commons Licensing. Relational Resources for Change Project. You are welcome to use this resource individually, in your teams and in supervision/coaching/critical reflection, you should acknowledge the source using the above citation. You may not change this document, use it to develop your own external training, or for commercial purposes (e.g by charging a fee).
