When we are building relationships with rangatahi, we need to remember that they are the experts on their own lives. Even when we have been working with them for a long time, we still do not know everything. We can never let ourselves believe we know better than rangatahi what needs to happen and what the best solutions are for them.
A useful way to keep this in mind is to use ideas like curiosity and uncertainty when we are with rangatahi. Curiosity and uncertainty encourage openness and willingness to listen (Duncan, Miller & Sparks, 2007; Ruch, 2018b; Turney, 2018). We can use some of the ideas listed in the Hearing rangatahi document to help us take this approach (see Hearing rangatahi).
"Not knowing is not the same as 'knowing nothing at all'" (Turney, 2012, 156).
Not knowing, is not doubt, it is about openness to different understandings of situations and new ways of thinking about strategies for change.
We can have conversations that start with the obvious - we do not know everything but we can still bring helpful ideas and skills to the table. So being curious and uncertain does not mean we do not know what to do. This is important, because we do want rangatahi to be confident that we can help make a positive difference. Some people suggest the idea of authoritative doubt as an approach that can help us achieve this. While being curious and uncertain, we need to remember that we do have skills that help support change (Mason, cited in Turney, 2012, 156). When we have authoritative doubt, we are clear that we do not have all the answers, but we are also clear that we have wisdom to share that we gain from our training, our critical reflection/supervision/coaching, and our mahi.
By being curious and asking ‘not knowing’ questions we give rangatahi the confidence that we can support them, but we use their expertise and wisdom in combination with our knowledge and skills to create meaningful and relevant strategies with them (Turney, 2012). Not knowing, is not doubt, it is about openness to different understandings of situations and new ways of thinking about strategies for change. This way of working values the coping capacities of rangatahi while also being a chance for them to experience a safe and secure relationship with a trusted adult who will back them and support them to have a voice as the ‘knower’ (Dore, 2019, p. 379) of their experiences (see Strengths-based practice; Agency and voice).
Being able to positively work with what we don’t know, and to adapt to the dynamic and fluctuating nature of rangatahi lives is a valuable skill to learn. This way of using our self in our mahi helps us focus on supporting positive change in the stressful and challenging situations we can find ourselves. We are more likely to spot capacities and strengths in rangatahi and those around them who may be supporters, when we are curious and when we know we do not know everything (see Critical reflection).
Being able to use uncertainty helps us relate positively to rangatahi because it shows we know we do not have all the answers or know everything. This is important when there is stress, tension, fear, and hostility in encounters.
Respectful curiosity and uncertainty have been linked to ideas of recognition and misrecognition which are important ideas in relationship-based practice (Turney, 2012) (see Recognition and shame). Critical reflection, supervision and coaching are the places where we learn to hone our ways of using curiosity and uncertainty. McMahon (2018, 148) talks about these reflection practices as systems for ‘holding onto knowing’ within a practice team. Being comfortable with feelings of uncertainty can help a team see the less obvious and the unconscious processes or feelings that our mahi raises. Once we can see this, we can develop strategies to use it effectively in our mahi.
Some people call curiosity taking a “naïve inquirer stance”. Being able to use uncertainty helps us relate positively to rangatahi because it shows we know we do not have all the answers or know everything. This is important when there is stress, tension, fear, and hostility in encounters. We can show that we are not making hasty judgements or decisions, but that we are open to hearing and learning. We show that we want to learn about new strategies and ways forward. We also show rangatahi that sometimes adults will suspend their judgement, listen to what they say and work with them to find ways forward (Ruch, 2018a). This means that rather than shutting down, and coping on their own, rangatahi become better able to seek support, to receive and accept support and to look for new ways to solve their challenges. They learn that even in times of stress or when things have gone wrong, kaimahi can be on their side.
Curiosity and uncertainty must be used with care (Turney, 2012, 156). They are not permission to ignore risks, to avoid making difficult decisions, to become friends, to condone destructive behaviour, nor to stand by and do nothing. Not-knowing and curiosity call for careful questions, forming some theories with rangatahi about what might be happening, and what might be the best solutions by generating tentative explanations and potential solutions.
Rangatahi can also have uncertainty
Kaimahi can use curiosity and uncertainty to explore the context of rangatahi behaviour. We can notice the surface behaviours, but also gain understanding of underlying factors and their role in rangatahi behaviours. Being curious is better than making judgements and assumptions.
Rangatahi may be fearful about the consequences of having the kaimahi in their life, they may worry about what will happen. Having a kaimahi working alongside them can also make them feel whakamā: what will their peers say? Will whānau recognise their needs and respond positively to a kaimahi who appears in their lives? These uncertainties and worries can trigger challenging behaviour. Here we want to support rangatahi to learn to recognise their fears and how they respond. Then they can work out positive ways of managing. Often in the past rangatahi will have experienced interventions where they were blamed and seen as just a set of problems and risks.
Kaimahi can use curiosity and uncertainty to explore the context of rangatahi behaviour. We can notice the surface behaviours, but also gain understanding of underlying factors and their role in rangatahi behaviours. Being curious is better than making judgements and assumptions. It helps us understand that rangatahi issues and concerns may have been misrecognised in the past and that not being understood may shape their reactions to us now as a result (Turney, 2012) (see Recognition and shame).
We can use respectful uncertainty to create space for rangatahi to communicate to us how they are feeling and also to let them know it is OK for them to tell us they are not ready to talk about some things (Kohli & Dutton, 2018, 87). Examples of questions that can be used here include ‘there may be some things you do not want to talk about with me….how will you let me know if I have strayed into (this) territory?’ It is also important to reassure rangatahi that they can dictate how, where and when they want us to communicate with them (see Agency and voice).
Not knowing and uncertainty can also be used in interactions with other kaimahi to slow down hasty decision-making and to encourage thinking about different options so that the solution that best fits this particular rangatahi is found. These approaches provide a space for treating with equal value practitioner and rangatahi perspectives, so they are very helpful in Family Group Conferences and other case forums.
How do I use these ideas in my mahi?
Tana came to our youth agency to attend a programme that provides support for rangatahi transitioning out of care. He also wanted to enrol in our employment preparation programme. We knew that Tana had experienced disruptive relationships with adults and while things had improved for him while he was in the youth justice facility, in the past interventions and contact with services had not always been helpful. We wanted to learn about Tana’s experiences and what was important to him including his cultural beliefs, so we could incorporate these into our support process. For example, we knew he was born in Aotearoa and his parents were born in Tonga. However, we didn’t make assumptions around this information. Rather, when relevant we would ask questions about his perspective on issues related to culture. As he became more comfortable in the group, he shared with us some of the beliefs in Tongan culture that were important to him, and said that he would like to learn more about his culture. We could see from his records that he had started to do that in the youth justice residence and he told us he wanted to continue to do this and to also strengthen his relationship with his parents and wider family. Building on this we explored with him ways in which he wanted to do this.
In our team meeting, as is our usual practice, we reflected on how we had welcomed Tana into our agency. We spoke about holding our judgement about Tana’s past experiences and being open to listening to his perspectives. It was important that we adopted this curious and uncertain stance as we came to know Tana and what was important to him. We wanted to convey to him that his views mattered and that he was the expert on his own life and his ‘back story’, and we would take the time to learn about this. We wanted to let him know that he could take his time in sharing things.
This helped us learn more and come to a deeper understanding of Tana’s circumstances and what he valued. It was also important to support other kaimahi that came into contact with Tana to take this position so that Tana would continue to feel safe and secure in his relationships with kaimahi. Tana shared with us why other helping relationships had not worked in the past, but also shared information on the positive connections he had formed with kaimahi, such as his connection with a kaimahi at the youth justice facility who helped him explore his cultural beliefs. We used this information in our support of Tana. We reflected with Tana on this and how he viewed the relationships he was establishing in our agency; he said that he felt comfortable at the agency and felt he could start to think about working on some goals for the future. We would continue to support Tana in the employment preparation programme so that he could work on his goals for a positive future.
Here are some places to look for more information
- Chapell Deckert, J. & Koenig, T. L. (2019). Social work perplexity: Dissonance, uncertainty and growth in Kazakhstan. Qualitative Social Work, 18, 2, 163-178. https://doi.org/10.1177/1473325017710086
- Dore, I. (2019). Doing knowing ethically: Where social work values meet critical realism. Ethics and Social Welfare, 13, 4, 377-391. https://doi.org/10.1080/17496535.2019.1598458
- Duncan, B., Miller, S. & Sparks, J. youth. Psychotherapy in Australia, 13, 34-43. https://search.informit.org/doi/10.3316/informit.545300571675378
- Kohli, R. & Dutton, J. (2018). Brief encounters. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp 77-93). Jessica Kingsley, London.
- McMahon, L. (2018). Long-term complex relationships. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp 147-164). Jessica Kingsley, London.
- Munford, R. & Sanders, J. (2020). Transformative practice: social work practice with vulnerable young people. European Journal of Social Work, https://doi:10.1080/13691457.2020.1819205
- Munford, R. & Sanders, J. (2019). The youth transitions study: Final report. Technical Report 39. Massey University, New Zealand.
- Ruch, G. (2018a). The contemporary context of relationship-based practice. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp37-54). Jessica Kingsley, London.
- Ruch, G. (2018b). Theoretical frameworks informing relationship-based practice. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp19-35). Jessica Kingsley, London.
- Turney, D. (2012). A relationship-based approach to engaging involuntary clients: The contribution of recognition theory. Child and Family Social Work, 17, 149-159. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2206.2012.00830.x
- Turney. D. (2018). Sustaining relationships: Working with strong feelings. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp. 129-145). Jessica Kingsley, London.
We thank the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment for funding the research that created this resource (MAUX2006).
This resource was developed by Professor Jackie Sanders. It was refined with input from Donna MacNicol, Te Aroha Noa Community Services, Justina Webster, Dr Linda Liebenberg, Professor Robyn Munford, Dr Jayne Mercier, Davinia Abbott and the team at Dingwall Trust Launch Programme
Citation: Sanders, J. with MacNicol, D., Webster, J., Munford, R. Liebenberg, L., Mercier, J., Abbott, D. and the Dingwall Trust Launch Team (2023). Accelerated and compressed transitions. Relational Resources for Change, https://youthsay.co.nz/rbp-theories/accelerated-and-compressed-transitions/
CC BY-NC-ND Licensed using Creative Commons Licensing. Relational Resources for Change Project. You are welcome to use this resource individually, in your teams and in supervision/coaching/critical reflection, you should acknowledge the source using the above citation. You may not change this document, use it to develop your own external training, or for commercial purposes (e.g by charging a fee).
