What is relationship-based practice briefly?

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How do I use these ideas in my mahi?

The example below is a reflection from a kaimahi who was supporting a rangatahi with lots of previous experience of services letting her down. The kaimahi reflects on a careful process of relationship building and why this process is so important.

I started working with Aroha about 4 months ago. She was involved in other services at the same time and was not keen to share much of her story or past experiences because she had ‘already told them and no one listens anyway’.  It was important for me to consider how I established my relationship with Aroha. At the beginning, there was very little trust so I had to make sure I didn’t make promises I couldn’t keep.

We spent quite a bit of time doing whanaungatanga. Aroha talked about the people she trusted and the people she didn’t. We quickly identified the people in her own support network and were able to discuss how those relationships were maintained and what helped her work through the challenges that arose in those relationships. I learnt that Aroha had quite a complex network that was built around values of trust, respect and acceptance. Aroha told me that she wanted to belong and when she felt valued and listened to, she began to trust others.

We worked together on her confidence, self esteem and communication. Over the following two months our relationship grew. Discussions became mutual and new topics were explored. Fears were identified and new strategies for dealing with conflict and challenges were highlighted. While this was happening, we were working our relationship. There was more laughter as her trust in me developed.

Aroha started to come with her own questions. She also said her relationships with others was more positive and she didn’t always ‘look for it to fall apart’. Reflecting back on my relationship with Aroha I understand the importance of kaimahi genuinely taking time for whanaungatanga.

Here are some places to look for more information

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We thank the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment for funding the research that created this resource (MAUX2006).

CC BY-NC-ND Licensed using Creative Commons Licensing. Relational Resources for Change Project. You are welcome to use this resource individually, in your teams and in supervision/coaching/critical reflection, you should acknowledge the source using the above citation. You may not change this document, use it to develop your own external training, or for commercial purposes (e.g by charging a fee).

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