Kaimahi emotions
We need to understand: “the ways in which unspoken anxieties about powerful feelings, including fear or despair, may cloud the judgement of the worker or impede the progress” (Ruch, 2018, 25).
Emotions are always present in relationship-based practice (RBP) (O’Connor, 2019). Kaimahi and rangatahi bring emotions into the relationship and emotions emerge out of their work together, and as life continues to unfold around them. Critical reflection is the key way kaimahi manage their emotional responses to the mahi (see Critical reflection). It provides a safe place to explore feelings and reactions, and to work out how to manage these so they do not get in the way of effective practice.
This is particularly important when we have negative reactions to rangatahi and their situations. We should not pretend that we won’t sometimes experience negative emotions in our mahi. Smith (2018, 107, citing Winnicott, 1992) reminds us that these feelings occur and need to be ‘contained’ during encounters. They are then dealt with through critical reflection (see Critical reflection). We need to make sure we look beneath the surface of our responses to learn why the situation brought up these feelings so that we can manage them in ways that do not stop us from being effective. We can think about it like this:
What this means is that in critical reflection, we need to focus on the actual interactions as we recall them and also all the dynamics around the situation. Then we need to consider the underlying causes of these responses so that next time we are better prepared to manage ourselves. It may be useful to talk to other kaimahi about negative emotions in our team meetings, so we are well prepared to deal with them when they arise.
Rangatahi emotions
Think about the impact you may have on the rangatahi you support - how does your presence raise memories of previous service encounters?
On the other side of the coin, rangatahi also have reactions to our presence in their lives, and these responses are not always positive. Our simple presence can cause intense anxiety and also anger and frustration (Ruch, 2018). This may show up in different ways. It will not always be obvious that rangatahi behaviours are a reaction to our presence (see Recognition and shame; Understanding and working with resistance).
For example, we may see disruptive and aggressive behaviour but not connect it to our involvement. Again, critical reflection focuses us on understanding why the rangatahi has responded in these ways and reflecting if our presence has reminded them of something from their past. We need to think and plan how to use our self in these situations to create openings for the rangatahi to tell us: “It is from this perspective that seemingly irrational behaviours can take on a more understandable dimension” (Ruch, 2018, 38). By carefully managing our self we create positive openings for rangatahi rather than showing judgemental responses that leave them with few dignified options (see Strengths-based practice.
How do I use these ideas in my mahi?
We meet regularly in our agency to reflect on our mahi. One of the areas we reflect on is how we manage difficult emotions so that our emotional responses do not negatively impact on our relationships with rangatahi. We often talk about how we keep focused on the strengths of rangatahi and on holding hope that things can be better for these rangatahi. Sometimes we get frustrated when rangatahi are not able to make changes that will improve their situation; for example, moving away from a negative peer group. It is important that we talk through these things with our team and identify ways to manage our feelings.
One of the areas that is also difficult for kaimahi, and that can generate strong emotions, is the frustration in working with kaimahi from other agencies who may have a negative view of rangatahi or let down rangatahi and don’t follow through on promises. For example, making rangatahi feel bad when they miss appointments which may mean that rangatahi stop attending the service. Working through these emotions in team meetings helps us manage our feelings and find strategies for dealing with these and doing things differently, so we have better outcomes.
Working through conflict in team meetings is another important task; for example, differences in opinion in how we should work with a particular rangatahi. It is important that these feelings are identified and addressed so that they do not impact negatively on our work with rangatahi. Another key area is managing our self-care and ensuring that we maintain our own wellbeing so that we are fully available to work with rangatahi. Team meetings are an important and safe place to work through our emotions; we schedule these regularly so that there is space to always work on emotions in timely and constructive ways.
Here are some places to look for more information
- O’Connor, L. (2019). How social workers understand and use their emotions in practice. A thematic synthesis literature review. Qualitative Social Work, 9, 4, 645-662. https://doi.org/10.1177/1473325019843991
- Ruch, G. (2018). The contemporary context of relationship-based practice. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp 37-54). Jessica Kingsley, London.
- Smith, M. (2018). Sustaining relationships: Working with strong feelings. Part 1: Anger, aggression and hostility. In G. Ruch, D. Turney & A. Ward (Eds). Relationship-based social work: Getting to the heart of practice (2nd Ed). (pp 95-112). Jessica Kingsley, London.
We thank the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment for funding the research that created this resource (MAUX2006).
This resource was developed by Professor Jackie Sanders. It was refined with input from Donna MacNicol, Te Aroha Noa Community Services, Justina Webster, Dr Linda Liebenberg, Professor Robyn Munford, Dr Jayne Mercier, Davinia Abbott and the team at Dingwall Trust Launch Programme
Citation: Sanders, J. with MacNicol, D., Webster, J., Munford, R. Liebenberg, L., Mercier, J., Abbott, D. and the Dingwall Trust Launch Team (2023). Working with challenging emotions. Relational Resources for Change, https://youthsay.co.nz/rbp-theories/working-with-challenging-emotions/
CC BY-NC-ND Licensed using Creative Commons Licensing. Relational Resources for Change Project. You are welcome to use this resource individually, in your teams and in supervision/coaching/critical reflection, you should acknowledge the source using the above citation. You may not change this document, use it to develop your own external training, or for commercial purposes (e.g by charging a fee).
